Twice.
Archive for the ‘Read Something’ Category
Twice.
Remember being a little kid and plane travel was total super hero shit?
I was 7 when I first flew to Vancouver, Washington to visit T-ma and T-pa. Baby sister, at a too-early-to-travel 6 months, sat on mom’s lap and slept most the way.
Well, except for when she was vomiting.
The stewardess gave me a pair of shiny, silver wings. I felt like a celebrity.
So many different faces, accents, flares of fashion and they were all beautiful. But none as beautiful as the stewardesses.
Perfect hair. Perfect lipstick. Perfect a-line skirts that revealed legs long and shiny from their different shades of hosiery.
I looked forward to visiting my west side relatives for the plane ride as much as the family if I am to be honest.
Now … well … good lawd where to start on air travel in the 21st century?
To insure I am able to white knuckle the edges of serenity, I’m NOT going to get started.
‘Coz sometimes I don’t enjoy getting started.
No.
Today we are going to talk about one of the last great treasures of the friendly skies.
Skymall Magazine.
I want, but can not afford, every-single-thing in the Skymall Magazine.
Geeky gadgets?
OH YES!
Strange outdoor furniture?
OH YES!
Heck, they even have clothing.
Now, before I continue, you must know something.
Michael don’t talk much.
Most probably because I don’t give him an opportunity to talk that much.
I am wired like a nicotine fiend.
If Michael speaks, it’s about to funny.
Always.
No matter what.
Okay … back to the story ..
So we are traveling to New Orleans, shoved entirety too intimately to the person beside me and flipping through a Skymall yawning intentionnally trying to get my damned ears to pop when …
“Hold up, turn back.”
Before I could move to turn page, he flipped back 10 pages .. then back again 4 pages … “that’s the most horrible invention.”
“Why would you do that?”
“What baby, what!!”
He flips to CoverTiques.

“THAT IS HORRIBLE – WHY?”
“You just went from ‘hey sexy’ …..

to ‘no grandma, I do NOT want any of your butterscotch’ …
This, lovelies, is reason number 17,540 why I keep him.
I like books.
I like contests.
I love my SIL.
Go enter and see if you can win.
I mean, no doubt, I got this one … fosho … but go enter anway ‘coz I said so.
Yes, you read that correctly.
I take a couple of days off from the interwebz and the gods smile down upon me with the most awesome thing of all things awesome.
How has this little gem slipped past me, the educator of all things naste?
How could I be so inconsiderate to think that the visually impaired don’t like to get their porn on? I like to get my porn on (oh yes), you like to get your porn on (you do so quit lying), and now I have been educated on how the blind get their porn on.
That’s beautiful man.
This site is absolutely gangsta!!
*dangles pocket watch*
Breathe deeply and do exactly as I say …
Visit Save The Words now.
Right now.
No, no, no – not click away to porn … adopt a word at Save The Words.



