Don’t be worried about the shit you’ve done, be worried about the shit you haven’t done.

As Santorum called Obama a nigga, I can rest a little easier now.  I don’t have to fear the tyranny he would rain down upon the citizens of this nation.  GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY UTERUS YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU.

Sorry, I’m getting the look. I’m not getting started.

I haven’t talked about work in awhile.  So we hire this chic last week. Smart like you would not believe.  Sometimes she opens her mouth and mine drops.  And it’s freaky.  Like, I don’t know, can’t put my finger on it, can’t give it a name.  Just freaky.

I’m rambling.  I’m distracted with a million tiny thoughts.  If I try to decipher them all, I get anxious.  Butterflies in my stomach anxious.  There are too many things to do, too many things to consider, too many things.  Just things.  Lots and lots of things.

One thing is our cruise in June.  What do I pack?  What do I need?  What should I avoid?  What shore excursions should we join in?  All this vacation business is supposed to be relaxing, not stressful.

But if there’s a way to make a situation stressful and full of anxiety, I’ll find it.  It’s kinda what I do.

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Haters really ARE his motivators.

Yeh, so, some kids throw a piece of concrete at Michael’s car Saturday night.

Let me stop right here and say I’ve never been one for having the police come by the house.  If I’m not actively doing something illegal, I’m sure as fuck thinking about doing something illegal  However, when you are forced to file a police report for insurance purposes, it’s unavoidable.

Let me stop again and say that while this statement is not a reflection on how much I don’t love other cities, I have to give H-town its street creed.   From the time our neighbor knocked on the door to let us know of the criminal mischief to the time Michael backed into the garage, inclusive of installation of a garage door opener and all repairs to the window and door frame … less than 48 hours.

In certain other cities, the fucking cops wouldn’t have even passed by yet.  Just sayin …

Before:

After:

From the day we moved into the house we’ve said, “We really need to get both vehicles in the garage.”  Well …

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Only thing I’m missing is a burn victim.

When you don’t post for 3+ months, what is there to say really?  Just avoid the topic, divert and move on.

Entirely too much information combined with entirely too much free time to marinate in it all serves no one well.

Did you know aloe plants bloom?  I didn’t.  The only aloe plant to survive the ice storms of 2010 is blooming.  Or trying like hell.

I was expecting this:

Instead, I got this:

Credit though, that bitch is taller than me and almost as tall as Michael.

Everything here is in bloom.  My roses never stopped blooming.

You know what you get when you have warmer than normal temperatures coupled with enough rain to pull our dry asses from a 100-year drought in the span of a month?  BUGS!  Everywhere.  Spiders and mosquitoes mostly, but there’s things living in the backyard that have no name.

There are two cats that hang out in the backyard.  Black kitty and urange kitty.  Black kitty sleeps on the green box and urange kitty sleeps in the grass beside the green box.  Neither bother us, so we don’t bother them.  They are both fat and happy, obviously they have servants.  They just want a quiet place to chill.

Don’t we all.

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It’s contagious.

If you know me, you know I love the library.  I’m totally at peace there.

Yes, even with the creepy guy touching himself.  Yes, even with the sour smelling homeless.

I like to walk around and see what title/cover calls to me.  Today a book spine spoke to me in a voice gritty with lust.  Pulled it from the shelf I did, gave it a peek and noticed it was authored by the same person who wrote The Exorcist.  I’m only one chapter into Dimiter and I gotta say my system for choosing literature isn’t foolproof but it works for me.

I get back from lunch and a lady I work with asks about the library.  You know how people say “don’t get me started”?  This is one of those topics where you really don’t want to get me started.  Coz I get started!

I allow her to login under my account on the Houston library system, so she could check it out and all.  Not thinking about it fully, mind you.

She notices my Hold list which included titles from each of Dawkins and Hitchens, among others.

So not only did I infect someone with the library bug today, but I also planted a seed of another kind.

Not bad.

Posted in Library, Read Something, WIN | 1 Comment

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall.

You ever move a full bucket?  Full of water, full of feed, full of whatever – you’re focusing on the wrong part of the story.

You get about halfway to your destination and you feel a slight slip.  It’s heavy but you got it, you’re cool.

Maybe you recognize the sweat covering your hands.  Maybe you don’t.  Matters not either way, it’s there.

Fingers stretched, red.  Knuckles all white and screaming.  You start thinking that you might should put the bucket down for a second.  Re-adjust.  Move to the other hand.

Nahhh, you say to yourself, you got this.  Right?  I mean, you don’t need to work smart, you just need to charge forward.  Just keep moving and it’ll all be okay.

Consuming yourself in the steps, counting them, always moving forward.

Now, you’d have made it to your destination sooner, and without the painful blisters, if you’d have put the fucking bucket down.  Checked it.  Checked yourself.  Started fresh.

Too bad you didn’t.

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The only reason I watch Workaholics.

Hubs loves it.  Laughs hysterically.

I don’t get it.  It’s okay, I mean I get a chuckle or two.  It’s just a little too guy-humor for me.  I dunno.

You know what I do know?  It has its benefits.

The guys are smoking ass hawt.

Blake Anderson

Who would think that under this …

Was really this ???

Anders Holm

Adam DeVine

Yes, yes Adam DeVine is wearing pantyhose.  Did you notice how I was able to sneak Blake in each picture?  Even with all the smoking hotness, the hottest of hottest is his cute smile.

Workaholics Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30c
Blake’s Striptease
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central Funny Videos Funny TV Shows

That and his tight ass.

Posted in Pix, Want | 1 Comment

Posted in Pix | 1 Comment

Wherein I bitch about traffic. Yes again.

I pay $160 a month in tolls.

I’ll give you all a moment to absorb the magnitude of that.  One hundred and sixty American dollars in a longstanding recession that borders on wash out your Ziploc bags and aluminum foil depression.

The tollway has two lanes.  An EZ-tag lane, for me, the suckas paying $160 a month.  The other being the HOV lane.  Meaning two or more persons.

This is where my rant comes in.  You should not be allowed to use the HOV lane if you are not removing a licensed driver from traffic congestion.  Your 3-month old brat should not give you the liberty of using the HOV lane.  Fuck you Mrs. Baby on Board, either pay the price or get your ass in the ugly 8-lane nightmare o’er there to the right.

The law should state two or more licensed drivers.  A pox upon the legislators that allow otherwise.

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